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Pronoia

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I returned home from one of my annual passion-drivers, the International Women's Summit. Working at the library, one of the first things I do anytime I return from any trip is to check my library account to ensure nothing is overdue and see what the status on my personal holds are - have they arrived yet? Are they on their way?      When I returned from this trip and checked my account online, I found a title listed on my hold for me that I had never heard of before, Pronoia . I didn't remember placing this hold. I don't remember even having heard the title before. I had no idea where this hold came from or why it was placed on my account. But I love Universal nudges, so figured there was some reason for this title being placed on my library card. I thought, I'll just see what this book is when it arrives at the library.      The next morning, Robbie texted me a photo of a scribble she had jotted down in the middle of the night. She said she found it funny that she

It's a slow process...

...following our dreams, but so incredibly worthy. Can you imagine living whatever it is you dream of having? I'm not talking like The Secret . (remember the film/book by Rhonda Burns?) I'm talking about ACHIEVING your dream, not hoping it will energetically appear. I'm talking about imagining the end result, picking a small piece of that end result, and working toward that - slowly. One step, one day, one idea, one inspired moment at a time. A few weeks ago, I wrote about my job. Since then, I completed the Life-coaching course which I've been working on for the past 9 months.(well, truth be told, I've been working toward this dream my entire life. I was built for this, and every single incident in my life has guided me in this direction.) Now, I'm picking up new clients every week. Simultaneously, I'm working my day job. ...because that's how slowly the dream-fulfilling process works. When dreams are meant to become reality, it happens n

Our minds are SO weird!

The other morning my alarm clock rang at 6:00am. Immediately, I disabled it and went right back to sleep. A few minutes later I heard the gentle dripping of the automatic coffee maker and I began to smell the fresh brew - fully knowing that my coffee will taste slightly burnt once I actually get around to drinking it... The alarm went off again at 7:00am, and I felt refreshed and ready to PLAY! (...sure enough, I could smell the slight burn of the coffee... Sad news.) As I readied for my day-job, showering, primping, dressing, makuping, doing the due, I wondered, "Why do I have my alarm set for 6:00am at all?" There is no answer. My morning routine is super simple. WHY HAVE I HAD MY ALARM SET FOR 6:00AM? By asking myself questions and digging deep, I noticed that this behavior didn't make me feel good. With further investigation, I realized: I have continued my Pre-COVID ritual of getting up for a job that used to begin at 8:00. These days are new days,

It's been a while...

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My home is really beautiful. We have a pond (photo attached). We also have 5 lovely, shared kiddos. (My life has changed a lot since my last blog-post!) A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the dock of our beautiful pond watching our lovely chillen's play. They were swimming and floating on the boats and having a wonderful time. One of them says to me, "Brooke! Go get your swimsuit on! Come swim with us!" I was immediately hit with a sense of rage. (Hold on - this get's good...) It was 2:30 in the afternoon. I had just showered and dressed so I could go to my day-job. In the midst of COVID, my employer had just started serving books - Curbside (join the club, right?). Instead of swimming with the kids, which is where my heart wanted to be, I was stuck in a little self-rage and I didn't quite understand the reason. I've always loved my job. I mean ***LOVE*** my job! This was the first time I felt differently . Minutes after I was asked to

The Moth

Last night as I readied myself for bed, I went to wipe my hands on a hand towel in the bathroom. There sat a beautiful deep purple moth. S/he was resting gently, peacefully. Wiping my hands on my pants instead, I quickly cupped the moth in my dried hands. As I walked toward the door to place it outside, s/he began to struggle and panic. It creeped me out as s/he fluttered strongly against the palm of my closed hand. I was speaking gently to the moth, "I'm here to save you! I'm setting you free! You have nothing to worry about. Just trust me!" When I finally reached the door, opened it and released the moth into the air, I watched her tumble toward the ground. Before hitting however, she was able to show a semblance of control over her body. She took flight in the way that moths do - fumbling and awkward. But s/he did take flight. S/he did find the way. And I promise you this: s/he's much happier outside than s/he would have been living on my handtowel.

We get to play in our bodies for a while, but this is not You

As I readied myself this morning, I became awestruck looking into my eyes. Not in my usual way*  this was different. It felt as if my soul was witnessing my body and falling in love... As I looked into my eyes, I noticed something I haven't before.  My body is a tool, a toy for my soul to play with.  It was as if my soul wanted to pick up my body and hold her and tumble her around and squeeze her (gently, of course). My eyes began to wander to other parts of my body as well. My collarbones, my hips, my toes. As I stood there wiggling them, I started to notice other things that were special too: My emotions. Just as my body might be a toy for my soul to play with, so too are my feelings. This has never been more obvious to me than right now as I'm being flooded with a plethora of them. Recently, my husband of 16 years asked for a divorce.  It was surprising and quite shocking**. After a few days of experiencing the shock, I moved into some new emotions that I wasn&#

The entire story: Labyrinthine Inspirations

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Entering the garden I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve walked labyrinths before, but I didn’t know what exactly I was in for when pursuing this particular experience. I was with a group of strangers, after all, and participating in a week-long Maui retreat where anything could happen, and I was open to anything happening.                 Eagerly, I sit down and await the introduction and interpretation of what we could experience during our labyrinth walk. Eve introduces herself and explains the purpose of the labyrinth so that we might be able to experience the walk more wholly. Without this explanation, I would not have been available to understand the meaning of my journey through the labyrinth.                 As I stepped up to the labyrinth, I set my intention: Be open to the process. Although Eve shared with us how we might be able to interpret our individual journeys through the labyrinth, she was unable to tell us exactly how completely we might each experience the walk.

Integrity-filled Life

When you're living an integrity-filled life, you get to do it everywhere.  It's nice & cozy with your friends - you hand selected them, after all.  But what about in your job, and with your family (particularly the members not closest to you)? To live in full integrity, you cannot pick and choose when your truths are revealed.  You must speak them everywhere. When you speak your truth and when you act according to your heart's truest desires, you will be lead to the place your soul yearns for.  Then watch those around you begin to live in their integrity alongside you because you have created the space for everyone in your life to move toward their own desires, truths, and passions. This is how you build your tribe.  Soon enough, by speaking your truth and living in integrity all the time, you will notice that only people who support and encourage you are in your life.  You begin to draw your people to you, magically! Everyone else, somehow, has drifted

Makin' Pancakes

Robbie and I, we have a thing. Well, we have several things. But I'm going to share just this one thing today. When things are shitty and you don't know what to do next, all you gotta do is make some pancakes.      Let me explain. Robs called me one morning because things were unsettled in her home. There were angers and frustrations flying about. Meanwhile, she was feeling calm. Sad, but calm.       She told me, "I don't know what to do right now."       I asked her,"So then, what exactly are you   doing right now?"      She responded, "Making pancakes."      Honestly, that was the best advice we've ever made together.      When you don't know what's going on and you wanna remain calm, or when your world feels like it's collapsing around you and you don't know what you're supposed to do, or when you're feeling low and have no one to talk to, or when you're just plain stuck, do a thing. Any damn thing

The Silent Observer

A *thing* happened to me recently. A big thing. By our culture's social standards it is a traumatic, life-altering event. As I noticed the event moving closer to me, I stepped back and started to do something that I've never done before. I watched. I didn't try to control what was coming. I didn't try to manipulate the truth in order to keep my life where it is. I didn't talk-talk-talk in an attempt to keep everything "steady". I watched. As if standing belly-deep in the ocean, I noticed a rising swell on the horizon. Instead of panicking and running out of the water to find a dry place to anchor; I allowed the swell to drift toward me. I put myself in a place of safety - swimming toward the swell, past the breakers. I ensured I was taking care of myself - noticing that is my only responsibility - Self-care in every moment. I laid on my back floating in the middle of that great ocean of life and I surrendered. I watched. This is not mo

Still I Flourish

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Check out this tree; wearing Truth on her branches like, "I know what's what." How dare she! The sooner we accept that life was never meant to be easy, the sooner we find peace in What Is. Life is hard. And still, I flourish! Dreamweaver's Life-coaching

Telling the Truth

When Jeff and I started dating, I invited him over for dinner one night. It was the first time I’d be cooking for him, and I was nervous and excited.   We had gone on only one date prior, and I wanted this to be special. Before the big night, I asked if he had any allergies or if there were any foods that he doesn’t like.                 “I’ll eat anything!” He responded. This was awesome because I’m an easy eater, too. We’re gonna get along just fine .                 The night finally came. I had prepared rack of lamb, peas almandine, and twice baked potatoes. I got all dressed up and set the table beautifully. I was ready to show off some of my cooking skills. I was on point and ready to impress!                 He arrived and we made polite conversation. I presented our dinner. I was so excited I could hardly contain! I knew, even in my early 20s, that I was a damn good cook so I thought I had this meal pegged.                 As we ate, I noticed something was off. My

Universal Nudges

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I had a hard morning a few days ago. One of those beginnings when nothing seems to go right. I started getting grumpy with myself and questioning my truths, my integrity, even. It was one of those mornings.      I decided to do something different for myself and walk to work. I believe that in order to get out of a rut, it helps to change a thing, any-damned-thing, and it'll switch up your life. Hug a dog, put on red lipstick, stand on your head - anything!      Walking to work that day definitely shifted something for me.      As I walked, I realized I left the keys to the library (where I work) at home. "Meh, that's ok. Someone will let me into the building when I get there."      I worked for a few hours and had lunch outside at the library's park with my kids, which was lovely.      Afterward, I needed to walk back home to pick up Julieta-Tortoise because it was her day to visit the library! (I truly have the best day job in the entire world.)  

I am qualified; Now. (You are too)

"I am absolutely qualified to do that which my heart yearns for."  ~ Yours Truly Right now. Today. As I write this, equally, YOU are also qualified. We stop because of our limiting beliefs in OURSELVES. We withhold our truest desires because we are so overly familiar with what we "expect" to happen today. Release your expectation of today. FLOURISH. Today, I dare you. In fact, I double-DOG-dare you to do one minuscule action toward something that lights up your heart. Take one tiny step toward that thing that eats a little hole in your imagination which you have been squelching because you say to yourself, "I can't do THAT. I don't know how to do that. I'm not qualified.'" Let me tell you right now: You are ABSOLUTELY QUALIFIED to do that thing. Just get out of your own way and imagine what that action might be. Be brave. ENJ♡Y. Dreamweaver's Life-coaching

The moment I fell in love with myself

"Lookin' in my own eyes, 'Hello!' I can find the love I want..." My ringtone is specifically chosen as the Red Hot Chili Pepper's song, 'Aeroplane.' After about the 40th time of being asked, "Why?!" I have finally come up with the appropriate words to form an answer. If you haven't heard the song, it sounds rather raunchy. " I like pleasure spiked with pain, and music is my aeroplane, " but like most poetry, there's a deeper meaning.  At least, I hear a deeper meaning. That could be simply because I'm rather deep myself. Anywhoo - the question for today: When you look into the mirror every morning, what do you say to yourself? (....Or, do you avoid the mirror?) Do you love what you see? Here's a to-do: Do it right now (before you lose courage):  - Find the nearest mirror. Any mirror. The mirror above your armoire, a public restroom mirror, even the reflection in a store-front window