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We get to play in our bodies for a while, but this is not You

As I readied myself this morning, I became awestruck looking into my eyes.
Not in my usual way* this was different.
It felt as if my soul was witnessing my body and falling in love...

As I looked into my eyes, I noticed something I haven't before. 
My body is a tool, a toy for my soul to play with. 
It was as if my soul wanted to pick up my body and hold her and tumble her around and squeeze her (gently, of course). My eyes began to wander to other parts of my body as well. My collarbones, my hips, my toes. As I stood there wiggling them, I started to notice other things that were special too: My emotions.

Just as my body might be a toy for my soul to play with, so too are my feelings.
This has never been more obvious to me than right now as I'm being flooded with a plethora of them.

Recently, my husband of 16 years asked for a divorce. 
It was surprising and quite shocking**.
After a few days of experiencing the shock, I moved into some new emotions that I wasn't expecting.
I began…

The entire story: Labyrinthine Inspirations

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Entering the garden I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve walked labyrinths before, but I didn’t know what exactly I was in for when pursuing this particular experience. I was with a group of strangers, after all, and participating in a week-long Maui retreat where anything could happen, and I was open to anything happening. Eagerly, I sit down and await the introduction and interpretation of what we could experience during our labyrinth walk. Eve introduces herself and explains the purpose of the labyrinth so that we might be able to experience the walk more wholly. Without this explanation, I would not have been available to understand the meaning of my journey through the labyrinth. As I stepped up to the labyrinth, I set my intention: Be open to the process. Although Eve shared with us how we might be able to interpret our individual journeys through the labyrinth, she was unable to tell us exactly how completely we might each experience the walk. I expected something to happen; I d…

Integrity-filled Life

When you're living an integrity-filled life, you get to do it everywhere. 
It's nice & cozy with your friends - you hand selected them, after all. 
But what about in your job, and with your family (particularly the members not closest to you)? To live in full integrity, you cannot pick and choose when your truths are revealed. 
You must speak them everywhere. When you speak your truth and when you act according to your heart's truest desires, you will be lead to the place your soul yearns for. 

Then watch those around you begin to live in their integrity alongside you because you have created the space for everyone in your life to move toward their own desires, truths, and passions.

This is how you build your tribe. 
Soon enough, by speaking your truth and living in integrity all the time, you will notice that only people who support and encourage you are in your life. 
You begin to draw your people to you, magically!

Everyone else, somehow, has drifted painlessly away.

It's …

Makin' Pancakes

Robbie and I, we have a thing. Well, we have several things. But I'm going to share just this one thing today. When things are shitty and you don't know what to do next, all you gotta do is make some pancakes.      Let me explain. Robs called me one morning because things were unsettled in her home. There were angers and frustrations flying about. Meanwhile, she was feeling calm. Sad, but calm.       She told me, "I don't know what to do right now."       I asked her,"So then, what exactly are youdoing right now?"
     She responded, "Making pancakes."      Honestly, that was the best advice we've ever made together.      When you don't know what's going on and you wanna remain calm, or when your world feels like it's collapsing around you and you don't know what you're supposed to do, or when you're feeling low and have no one to talk to, or when you're just plain stuck, do a thing. Any damn thing. Hug your do…

The Silent Observer

A *thing* happened to me recently.
A big thing.
By our culture's social standards it is a traumatic, life-altering event.
As I noticed the event moving closer to me, I stepped back and started to do something that I've never done before.

I watched.

I didn't try to control what was coming.
I didn't try to manipulate the truth in order to keep my life where it is.
I didn't talk-talk-talk in an attempt to keep everything "steady".

I watched.

As if standing belly-deep in the ocean, I noticed a rising swell on the horizon.
Instead of panicking and running out of the water to find a dry place to anchor; I allowed the swell to drift toward me.
I put myself in a place of safety - swimming toward the swell, past the breakers.
I ensured I was taking care of myself - noticing that is my only responsibility - Self-care in every moment.
I laid on my back floating in the middle of that great ocean of life and I surrendered.

I watched.

This is not mock surrender.
It is …

Still I Flourish

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Check out this tree; wearing Truth on her branches like, "I know what's what."
How dare she! The sooner we accept that life was never meant to be easy, the sooner we find peace in What Is. Life is hard.
And still, I flourish!

Telling the Truth

When Jeff and I started dating, I invited him over for dinner one night. It was the first time I’d be cooking for him, and I was nervous and excited. We had gone on only one date prior, and I wanted this to be special. Before the big night, I asked if he had any allergies or if there were any foods that he doesn’t like. “I’ll eat anything!” He responded. This was awesome because I’m an easy eater, too. We’re gonna get along just fine. The night finally came. I had prepared rack of lamb, peas almandine, and twice baked potatoes. I got all dressed up and set the table beautifully. I was ready to show off some of my cooking skills. I was on point and ready to impress! He arrived and we made polite conversation. I presented our dinner. I was so excited I could hardly contain! I knew, even in my early 20s, that I was a damn good cook so I thought I had this meal pegged. As we ate, I noticed something was off. My intuitive antenna was going crazy. I asked him what was going on and he said h…

Universal Nudges

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I had a hard morning a few days ago. One of those beginnings when nothing seems to go right. I started getting grumpy with myself and questioning my truths, my integrity, even. It was one of those mornings.      I decided to do something different for myself and walk to work. I believe that in order to get out of a rut, it helps to change a thing, any-damned-thing, and it'll switch up your life. Hug a dog, put on red lipstick, stand on your head - anything!      Walking to work that day definitely shifted something for me.      As I walked, I realized I left the keys to the library (where I work) at home. "Meh, that's ok. Someone will let me into the building when I get there."      I worked for a few hours and had lunch outside at the library's park with my kids, which was lovely.      Afterward, I needed to walk back home to pick up Julieta-Tortoise because it was her day to visit the library! (I truly have the best day job in the entire world.)      As I wal…

I am qualified; Now. (You are too)

"I am absolutely qualified to do that which my heart yearns for." 
~ Yours Truly Right now. Today.
As I write this, equally, YOU are also qualified.
We stop because of our limiting beliefs in OURSELVES. We withhold our truest desires because we are so overly familiar with what we "expect" to happen today.
Release your expectation of today.
FLOURISH. Today, I dare you. In fact, I double-DOG-dare you to do one minuscule action toward something that lights up your heart. Take one tiny step toward that thing that eats a little hole in your imagination which you have been squelching because you say to yourself, "I can't do THAT. I don't know how to do that. I'm not qualified.'" Let me tell you right now:
You are ABSOLUTELY QUALIFIED to do that thing. Just get out of your own way and imagine what that action might be. Be brave.
ENJ♡Y.

The moment I fell in love with myself

"Lookin' in my own eyes, 'Hello!' I can find the love I want..." My ringtone is specifically chosen as the Red Hot Chili Pepper's song, 'Aeroplane.' After about the 40th time of being asked, "Why?!" I have finally come up with the appropriate words to form an answer.
If you haven't heard the song, it sounds rather raunchy. "I like pleasure spiked with pain, and music is my aeroplane," but like most poetry, there's a deeper meaning. 


At least, I hear a deeper meaning. That could be simply because I'm rather deep myself.
Anywhoo - the question for today:
When you look into the mirror every morning, what do you say to yourself?
(....Or, do you avoid the mirror?) Do you love what you see? Here's a to-do:
Do it right now (before you lose courage):
 - Find the nearest mirror. Any mirror. The mirror above your armoire, a public restroom mirror, even the reflection in a store-front window. Whatever.
 - Look into your own eyes.
 - R…

How I Found My Bestie!

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Scrolling through Facebook one fine day, I read a post from a girl I went to school with on Kaua’i twenty years ago. Her name is Robbie. In school we were never “friends” but we knew each other. In a class with 20 students attending a small private school on an island, of course, we knew each other!      Her post spoke of her sister’s wedding, for which she was the Maid of Honor. She mentioned the wedding was to be held in Colorado. I live in Colorado. I commented, “Where in Colorado is the wedding?”      I received a response a few days later. “A little town in Southwest Colorado. You’ve probably never heard of it.”      “I live in Southwest Colorado.”      “The wedding will be in a tiny town called Pagosa Springs.”      I live 40 miles from Pagosa Springs. In fact, Pagosa Springs is the town I moved to from Kaua’i with Mommer when I was sixteen.      Not knowing why, Robbie invited me to be her Plus-One at the wedding.      Without understanding the reason, I said Yes.      Robbi…

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindl…

Message From Someone Who Knows

"Do the next right thing." ~Glennon Doyle This is so pivotal to our Now. 
It's the only thing we can control. 
It's all we've got. 

This message guides me every moment. Alongside the truth that there are no mistakes, all we've got is our next right choice. Choose actions and words from your heart, and move forward with knowing that you are doing the best you can with what you've got.

This question reminds me to ask myself, "Am I doing the best right here, right now?" It comes up in simple and complex conversations and situations. It's not a mantra or an affirmation, it's a soul-check-in. It's my compass.

When I'm answering to my soul in each moment, I also know that everything's gonna be alright! (And it always is.) What is your Next Right Thing?

How Do You Feel?

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This question leads me to living my life alongside my fullest integrity. If it doesn't feel good, why am I doing it? This comes down to choices about: food,work, play, being outside, conversations with friends, relationship with my kids, my writing, what's in my heart, in recognition of where my soul is guiding me, my truth. Ask yourself this question, ALL THE TIME, and let your heart's answers guide you ♡

Panties

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As I pulled on my panties this morning, my thumb went through a hole in the lace waistband.  For a second, I thought, "I can wear them one last time. I love these underwear. They're cute and comfy. I'm not ready to get rid of them. They still have wear in them! I'll use them this final time and THEN I'll toss them." I've said this a dozen times now and they keep finding their way back into my drawer. That's when I noticed something. Why am I hanging onto old, worn out underwear? Am I doing this in other places in my life, too?
Am I hanging onto old thought patterns?
Am I avoiding new awarenesses because I am so familiar with my old self that I call it comfort? Yes, yes, and yes! Dude. I threw those panties in the trash and said, "Good Riddance!" They no longer serve me. I released the Old and welcome the New! I hope this helps inspire you to toss your old bunchy stuff too. (Sorry guys, epiphanies will be revealed where they will; I don't control thi…